Thursday, December 11, 2008

Well, who out there has some money to burn? By Geniusofdespair

I want to buy the Miami Herald. I have one missing piece of the puzzle which I was hoping you might supply. Email me where I can pick up your check:

I did a quick calculation on what I need to collect. The Knight Ridder publishing company owns 8 Miami Herald parcels totaling about $95,000,000 in assessed value. Obviously I don't want the land or the decrepit buildings on them. I will just publish out of my house so I want to purchase the paper's brand and I need a sturdy, reliable copy machine. I would suppose I have to collect at least $7,000 ($2,000 for the paper itself and $5,000 for the laser copy machine). By the way reporters: You get to keep your job and you get a substantial raise for agreeing to house a laser printer in your home and supply your own copy paper.


P.S. In case you have noticed, the COMMENTS are new, not the posts.


Anonymous said...

The check is in the mail.

Sincerely, Anders

Anonymous said...

This is interesting.. How much money do you think would be required to purchase the local rag?

geniusofdespair said...

Hmmm. I would guess a lot of money. At least a couple of thousand, that is about what the Herald paper should be worth.

The building and the property are another story -- probably going for about 20 or 30 million. So maybe we can get it for $30,002,000?

Anonymous said...

First move hire Defede. Second move Gimleteye becomes City Editor. After that you're going to need some insiders. Imagine a bloodless overthrow of the Unreformable Majority. Might as well add a couple of bucks for the one XXXXXL body bag you will need.

out of sight said...

Well maybe we can get the public schools to print it at their print shops for us.

Lets form a 501 c 3 and let the buyers of the property donate the name, copyrights, archives, old furniture, computers, printers and whatever to us. The Property buyer get the tax credit and we get the equipment we need to run a work-at-home virtual paper. Then we raise the $$ through ads to pay salaries and printing costs.

Who needs the Biscayne Bay view anyway?

geniusofdespair said...

Now you are talking Out of Sight.

This endeavor reminds me of a Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney movie now: "We need a gazillion dollars so: Let's put on a show!" Would you like to be on our Editorial Board OoS?

Anonymous said...

O! O! O!,
I can't wait to start squealing to you about all the dirty politics going on in my fair city!
And BTW, could we have Rebecca Wakefield and Frank Alvarado too?

out of sight said...

I would be honored to be on your Editorial Board. Can you imagine the fun? Can you imagine the candidate interviews?

Ouuuuu. It would be great to pick our reporters. They would have fun, too! I wonder if they would like work in teams on a rotating basis, so they each got an opportunity to be investigative reporters? Cross train them, so they all are experienced in the community issues and government, so they know a rat when they see one, or a skunk when they smell one or smoke screen when it appears!

Seriously, though, who has the money to put a large destination attraction on that site?

What was part of the plan for the South Florida Regional Planning Council's review of that area several years back? (Hint, it was a request for hotels and a large facility that would accommodate great number of people)

Hmmm... if it isn't a stadium, could it be a casino???

Doesn't the Knight Foundation want us to take back journalism?

Anonymous said...

i'm thinking car wash. also, that sign's gotta be worth something.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you and yours much love, peace, and happiness!

Anonymous said...

Very funny, I will throw in my house as a host for a laser printer. That you pay for. Who is going to deliver your papers?

geniusofdespair said...

Hmmm...never thought about delivery. I would suppose I could get a truck or two. Maybe the Herald will throw them into the be nice?

out of sight said...

I think that this would be a time to go to an environmentally friendly delivery. Have bikes again. Have neighborhood captains, who deliver the news on foot.

Keep up the paper on paper so people can read...pssst Larger Print ... Miami Herald was dumb to follow along with their marketing study and adjust the print size downward. It is Babyboomers time and we like to read, when we can see it. Don't forget to utilize the computers too.

Every middle school and high school student should have to take it home daily. Homework based on Newspaper. (oh, read and clip articles and take quizzes??)

People in office buildings could pick their copies up there. Charge them delivery, but have one drop off for 1000 people.

We gotta get creative.